Oh Man, This is Going to be Comedy Gold

From the And-You-Thought-The-Onion-Was-Funny dept.:

07_aerial_atlantic_vanderbilt.jpgDEBORAH KOLBEN writes in the Daily News: “Just weeks after a group of Brooklyn clergy published a newspaper bashing the proposed downtown Brooklyn Nets arena complex, developer Bruce Ratner has gotten into the newspaper game… The Brooklyn Standard [PDF], a glossy 16-page tabloid with information about the $3.5 billion project, is scheduled to hit the stands today…”

Q: Wait… what’s so funny about that? Why is Daily Heights so anti-Ratner?
A: We aren’t.

Q: That’s a lie. If you are so neutral, then why are you always making fun of the Atlantic Yards project?
A: The Atlantic Yards project is being promoted by–and will benefit–people with money, power and influence. Generally speaking, these people say and do many things that are amusing. Are they funnier than us commoners? Possibly not. But we do have a popular media obsessed by money, power and influence that feeds us hilarious quotes, like this one:

“We said from the beginning that we are going to provide as much information as humanly possible,” said Joe DePlasco,…spokesperson for a company that last updated its Atlantic Yards website more than 500 days ago.

LINK: Ratner Rolls Out Tabloid to Sell $3.5B Arena Plan New York Daily News

Say That One More Time, and I'll Punch You in the Face

curb_03.jpgquig writes: “After cleaning up merde du chiene in front of my building, I’m declaring war… and I’m calling one offender out.”


(Setting: Underhill near Sterling, early Friday AM)

(Man walking dog pauses; dog “drops anchor” in the street. Man and dog continue journey.)

Quig: Excuse me, are you short a bag? I have one right here.

Gent: No.

Quig: Well, you have to clean up the crap, you know. It’s the law.

Gent: Are you a cop?

Quig: No.

Gent: Well, if you look at the sign, it has street cleaning.

Quig: That doesn’t help me if I step in it. It’s the law you have to clean it up.

Gent: Mind your own business.

Quig: It’s the law…. (macro)

Gent: Say that one more time, and I’ll punch you in the face.

Me: I bet you would.


“Off I went to the park with my two dogs… Adrenal gland sparking off in my head.”

PHOTO: Curb Your Dog’s Enthusiasm, Part 3 [NYC Photoblog of Distinction: what about the plastic animals?]

White Liberals, Running and Screaming, Too Busy Preserving Little Community To Give A Damn About Blacks, Hispanics

28_22kiss1.jpg[PICTURED: Bertha Lewis of ACORN kisses Michael Bloomberg; Tom Callan in the Brooklyn Papers]

Found on Develop-Don’t Destroy: “In Thursday’s, June 9th, Brooklyn Daily Eagle, Ms. Lewis is quoted as saying this:”

“‘…It is because of race and class that whenever you have a small group of white liberals running and screaming about something, people think its important.” and “What about the thousands of low-income people of color who say that this is a good opportunity, that this could give us jobs and affordable housing? They don’t have to worry about affordable housing. They don’t give a damn about people of color. All they care about is preserving their little Prospect Heights community.


We here at DAILY HEIGHTS have suspected this all along, because we have our finger on the pulse of the community. Here are some relevant comments, posted anonymously a few months back, on our dailyheights forums:

“I am so sick of all of the Yuppies and Gentrifiers moving into what used to be a GREAT Neighborhood. I can’t wait for stadium to be built and for rents to go up. When that happens, the only people who will be able to afford to live in the neighborhood will be the super-rich and the super-poor!…”

“… guess what folks? The drug dealers, loud music, and people from the ‘hood aren’t going anywhere. And neither are the barber shops, hair salons, or nail salons. People of Color (me included!), like to look good. We take pride in our appearance and can appreciate a good manicure every week. So, if you’re gonna live in Prospect Heights, get used to everything about it.”

“I can’t wait for Ratner to tear down those overpriced lofts! I can’t wait for the ball players to take over Brooklyn! Jay Z is coming. P-Diddy is coming. And the Nets are coming. I am so, so, excited! Ya’ll ain’t ready for the African-American Nouveu Riche.

Links:
Ms. Lewis is Quoted as Saying This [Develop–Don’t Destroy]
Y’all Ain’t Ready for the African-American Nouveau Riche [dailyheights forums]

"Subway Noir" by Bill Batson: Opening Reception SUNDAY

tn_billPage08Image0001_jpg.jpgProspect Heights artist Bill Batson writes: “I use the word ‘noir’ to express the drama and mystery that comes with spending so much of our time in public spaces sitting next to total strangers … on hard surfaces, often staring blankly ahead, framed by advertising, years of our life are spent in this anonymous travel mode … as the world becomes more digital, people on opposite sides of the globe have more contact with each other than we do with our seat neighbors. What will it take to eliminate barrier of alienation that is the line between random strangers and a community?” [Read more after the break…]

Subway Noir: Drawings by Bill Batson
June 26, 2005 – August 7, 2005
Opening Reception: Sunday, June 26, 2005; 4-7 p.m.
Calabar Imports, 820 Washington Ave. btw Lincoln and St. John’s Pl.
Prospect Heights, Brooklyn
RSVP: [email protected] | 718-638-4288
Read more …

Local Resident Turns Cartwheel

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Thanks to Tina Laze for contributing these photos to Daily Heights:

“Taken at the Cherry Blossom Festival last month. No story, really, other than pure enjoyment of a beatiful day. It was the last few hours of the festival, and one of my friends thought it’d be nice to just lay out on the grass. And who could resist a cartwheel given those circumstances?”

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Atlantic Yards environmental impact meeting THURSDAY

How do you think the Atlantic Yards project will impact you, your family and your community? Here’s a chance to have your input included in the project’s Environmental Impact Study (EIS).

Thursday, June 16th 7pm, Iglesia Evangelica Latina
506 Bergen Street (between 6th Ave and Carlton Ave)

SCHEDULED PRESENTATIONS: Brian Ketchum, Community Consulting Services; and Brad Lander, Pratt Institute Center for Community and Environmental Development discussing the Atlantic Yards project in context of downtown Brooklyn development, and an overview of the State of New York EIS process “as it is likely to be applied to Atlantic Yards.” Sponsored by the Prospect Heights Neighborhood Development Council.

TURTURRO WATCH(tm): Update for The Week of June 12, 2005

turturro watch-tn.jpgUPDATE, Saturday, June 11, 2005, 1:15:50 PM: John Turturro, walking past the corner of President St. and Prospect Park West, gave a passerby directions to Ocean Parkway. He then proceeded in a northeasterly direction, toward Union St., where he waited briefly at the crosswalk, then crossed over to Grand Army Plaza.

PICTURED: Mr. Turturro, wearing sport shoes and pulling a grocery cart, interacts with fellow Brooklynites at the GAP greenmarket, still in full swing. Click here for full image.

STATUS REPORT: It has been nearly 1 year and 9 months since our last John Turturro update. As reported Thursday, October 23, 2003 at 03:51 PM, Turturro was spotted striding purposefully past the Blockbuster near Flatbush and 8th Aves., wearing a dangly earbud and engaging in an intense cell phone call. As he strode past, Turturro pinched the microphone component between his left thumb and index finger, drawing it closer to his mouth in an attempt to improve the call quality.

Hey, That New Coffee Shop on Flatbush Opens Tomorrow

Heights_coffee_loungeHeights Coffee, the new coffee house at 335 Flatbush Avenue (between Park Place and Seventh Avenue, next to Geido) is having an Open House tomorrow (June 16th) from 6-9 pm. The place is owned and operated by realtor Tony Atterbury of Slope Heights Realty. The storefront, pictured, is the same one formerly occupied by Slope Heights Realty, which has moved a few doors down the street.

TIP: Roy Frasier in the Park Place/Underhill Avenue Block Association newsletter. [Download PDF]

Bike Deaths Up 50%; Elizabeth Padilla "Vigil Ride" THIS THURSDAY MORNING

times-up.org 2005-06-10-bklyncm-memorial.jpg[Image: times-up.org]

At 8 am this Thursday, June 16, cyclists will embark on a Vigil Ride from 5th Avenue and Warren Street in Park Slope (Where Elizabeth Padilla was killed) to the steps of City Hall to memorialize 200+ NYC bicyclists killed since 1995.

NYPD data: 9 cyclists have perished in crashes this year, representing a 50% increase in fatalities over the same period in 2004.

PAUL STEELY WHITE (Transportation Alternatives): “The sheer volume of vehicles and the heedlessness of drivers leave no room for error on these streets … the City must create more greenways and protected, on-street bike lanes … Bike routes must be at least 5 feet wide with a 2-foot buffer …” Details after the jump.
Read more …

How to Find the Mark Shields – David Brooks Slugfest

[FIRST POST! Daily Heights welcomes Frank Lynch, long-time reader and first-time contributor. Lynch lives in PH and writes a photo/politics blog called Really Not Worth Archiving… Really.]
Political pundits Mark Shields and David BrooksYou know how it is, I know how it is: memos have come out which clearly show that the Bush administration invaded Iraq to get fava beans, in spite of their ready availability at Sahadis. The world is in an uproar, and you just know that on the Newshour With Jim Lehrer this coming Friday night Mark Shields and David Brooks are going to plain out, flat out, duke it out. Is there a better occasion for a party?

You’ll have Biscuit deliver, of course, but how do your guests get to your place for the slam down? Good question. Glad you asked…

I recently discovered HopStop, an NYC website that you can provide to your guests, which will tell them how to get to your place from wherever they are in NYC. Imagine Mapquest for non-drivers: while Mapquest focuses on driving directions, this baby is focused on subways and buses (and walking!) for getting your raucous crowd there for the Shields & Brooks Death Match.
Read more …