From the And-You-Thought-The-Onion-Was-Funny dept.:

DEBORAH KOLBEN writes in the Daily News: “Just weeks after a group of Brooklyn clergy published a newspaper bashing the proposed downtown Brooklyn Nets arena complex, developer Bruce Ratner has gotten into the newspaper game… The Brooklyn Standard [PDF], a glossy 16-page tabloid with information about the $3.5 billion project, is scheduled to hit the stands today…”

Q: Wait… what’s so funny about that? Why is Daily Heights so anti-Ratner?
A: We aren’t.

Q: That’s a lie. If you are so neutral, then why are you always making fun of the Atlantic Yards project?
A: The Atlantic Yards project is being promoted by–and will benefit–people with money, power and influence. Generally speaking, these people say and do many things that are amusing. Are they funnier than us commoners? Possibly not. But we do have a popular media obsessed by money, power and influence that feeds us hilarious quotes, like this one:

“We said from the beginning that we are going to provide as much information as humanly possible,” said Joe DePlasco,…spokesperson for a company that last updated its Atlantic Yards website more than 500 days ago.

LINK: Ratner Rolls Out Tabloid to Sell $3.5B Arena Plan New York Daily News

quig writes: “After cleaning up merde du chiene in front of my building, I’m declaring war… and I’m calling one offender out.”

(Setting: Underhill near Sterling, early Friday AM)

(Man walking dog pauses; dog “drops anchor” in the street. Man and dog continue journey.)

Quig: Excuse me, are you short a bag? I have one right here.

Gent: No.

Quig: Well, you have to clean up the crap, you know. It’s the law.

Gent: Are you a cop?

Quig: No.

Gent: Well, if you look at the sign, it has street cleaning.

Quig: That doesn’t help me if I step in it. It’s the law you have to clean it up.

Gent: Mind your own business.

Quig: It’s the law…. (macro)

Gent: Say that one more time, and I’ll punch you in the face.

Me: I bet you would.

–
“Off I went to the park with my two dogs… Adrenal gland sparking off in my head.”

PHOTO: Curb Your Dog’s Enthusiasm, Part 3 [NYC Photoblog of Distinction: what about the plastic animals?]

[PICTURED: Bertha Lewis of ACORN kisses Michael Bloomberg; Tom Callan in the Brooklyn Papers]

Found on Develop-Don’t Destroy: “In Thursday’s, June 9th, Brooklyn Daily Eagle, Ms. Lewis is quoted as saying this:”

“‘…It is because of race and class that whenever you have a small group of white liberals running and screaming about something, people think its important.” and “What about the thousands of low-income people of color who say that this is a good opportunity, that this could give us jobs and affordable housing? They don’t have to worry about affordable housing. They don’t give a damn about people of color. All they care about is preserving their little Prospect Heights community.”

–
We here at DAILY HEIGHTS have suspected this all along, because we have our finger on the pulse of the community. Here are some relevant comments, posted anonymously a few months back, on our dailyheights forums:

“I am so sick of all of the Yuppies and Gentrifiers moving into what used to be a GREAT Neighborhood. I can’t wait for stadium to be built and for rents to go up. When that happens, the only people who will be able to afford to live in the neighborhood will be the super-rich and the super-poor!…”

“… guess what folks? The drug dealers, loud music, and people from the ‘hood aren’t going anywhere. And neither are the barber shops, hair salons, or nail salons. People of Color (me included!), like to look good. We take pride in our appearance and can appreciate a good manicure every week. So, if you’re gonna live in Prospect Heights, get used to everything about it.”

“I can’t wait for Ratner to tear down those overpriced lofts! I can’t wait for the ball players to take over Brooklyn! Jay Z is coming. P-Diddy is coming. And the Nets are coming. I am so, so, excited! Ya’ll ain’t ready for the African-American Nouveu Riche.”

Links:
Ms. Lewis is Quoted as Saying This [Develop–Don’t Destroy]
Y’all Ain’t Ready for the African-American Nouveau Riche [dailyheights forums]