… when you could have a 1 in 32 chance of winning $200 in the Dailyheights.com ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS tournament on Thursday, May 26 at Freddy’s? For more details, please visit our RPS Blog at: New York Rock Paper Scissors Association (nyrps.org)

Signups are stupendously limited (32 competitors), and we have already promised 10 of the 32 slots!! (Maybe we have to widen the field to 64 and have a $400 cash prize, or else hold two separate rounds?) To sign up in advance, send $6.50 per competitor ($6 + .50 Paypal fee) using the “MAKE A DONATION” button to the right. Or save 50 cents by making alternative arrangements: cash, check, drinks, a bottle of pinot noir, expensive Spanish candy bars, etc. (contact us the usual way).

PICTURED: Hand to Hand Combat: Down and dirty at the World Rock Paper Scissors Championship [Rolling Stone]

… Yet.

I ran into PH resident and gourmet pickle maker Rick Fields at his pickle stand in the Union Square greenmarket, on my way to the Virgin Megastore to buy Sex and the City: The First Season (as a gift, I swear).

I asked Rick, “what’s new?” and he pulled out a hand-labeled jar of “Smokra”, which is spicy pickled okra (and some very large pickled garlic cloves that we haven’t had the courage to eat yet). I think he charged me $8 (maybe $9) for the jar.

“It has a variety of spicy elements,” Rick says. “Chilis, curry, pungent mustard seed. It’s the rare pickle that we just recommend eating out of the jar.”

Not only does Smokra sound like the most awesome Godzilla villain that never was, but the pickled okra bobble up and down in the brine like “alien worms from The X-Files,” according to my taste-tester. “You know, the ones that go up your nose and then explode through your stomach.” Hmm… was that X-Files, Season 1, Episode 8?

By now I’m sure you’re dying for a taste of spicy pickled SMOKRA, but it won’t be available until October.

PS. Those links above to Amazon are sponsored. That means you can support Daily Heights simply by clicking on them and buying something. Anything, really.

DAILY HEIGHTS is proud to announce its latest hare-brained, idiotic experiment in interactivity that is destined to fail miserably: A guide to stoop sales taking place PH/Park Slope this weekend. To maximize chances of failure, we are launching this feature prior to a weekend that will not inspire the planning of outdoor events or spontaneous afternoon strolls (Sat: Rain, hi 60°/lo 48°; Sun: Partly cloudy 59°/51°).

Without further ado, our first listing, from Karen C:

Stoop sale | 558 2nd St., btw 7th and 8th Aves.
Sat., May 7, 10-6 (Rain date: Sun, May 8th)
Designer clothes (many brand new!), CDs, DVDs, books, jewelry and more!

To participate in this debacle, e-mail details of your stoop sale to: whatsnew@dailyheights.com

[PICTURED: Stoop Sitting.]

Flash! Bill Carney reports: “Prospect Heights’ Freddy’s Bar played Park Slope’s O’Connor’s in softball this past Sunday at Prospect Park. It was a continuation of the epic clash of dive bars begun last season when the teams split the series 2-2. O’Connor’s won the final game of last season and was therefore able to retain through the off season the coveted Triple D cup Blue Bra which the formerly smoke-filled gin mills have adopted as their trophy and symbol of Bar Sports Excellence. Showing a great deal of modesty, O’C’s decided not to display their trophy.”

“Last Sunday, Freddy’s regained the Blue Bra with an exciting 9-8 bottom-of-the-9th one-out sac-fly-to-center sending-home-the-winning-run victory by Jim, the guy who likes to drink something called a Yachtsman. O’Connor’s player-coach Bart the Bartender might have made a critical blunder by leaving in starting pitcher Kenny even as his pitch count neared 4,000. For this game at least, the Freddy’s squad abandoned their trademark weak hitting and porous defense while relying on the ‘being less hung-over than the other team’ strategy, which led them to their 2 victories last season. ‘We’ve stuck with our largely ineffectual batting, but we’re actually playing some defense this season,’ manager Pat O’Shea explained.”

“Jim was awarded MVP and given the honor of hanging the Bra from a lamp fixture behind the bar at Freddy’s. He celebrated with a bevy of yachtsmen. Future games are as of this report unscheduled. “We’ve got the Bra. They’ll have to come to us now,” explained lefty relief pitcher and Freddy’s bartender Matt Kuhn.”

LINK: FREDDY’S V. O’CONNORS SOFTBALL, MAY 3, 2005
Who’s got the better bar? A few drinks later everyone does. [Photos by Stephanie Johnson, Tony Limuaco and Kate Matlack]