“Where can I find free kittens?” you may be asking yourself. Good question. As of right now, DAILYHEIGHTS is the seventh most popular place on the Internet to find free kittens.

This is especially remarkable because–if you’re new–this site has nothing to do with kitten giveaways. But that doesn’t matter, because finally, DAILYHEIGHTS has a Corporate Mission Statement: “To become the #1 Internet destination for free kittens, without actually giving away kittens, talking about kittens, or posting any free-kitten-related content.”

[PHOTO: Maloney C, Lichtblau SJ, Karpook N et al. Feline Reactions to Bearded Men. Annals of Improbable Research.]

Who knew Iraq War protests were scheduled for Saturday? DAILYHEIGHTS stumbled upon a small group of protesters readying cardboard coffins and fighting off freelance reporters. PICTURED: This skit portrayed military recruiters as skull-faced merchants of death—a tactful soft-sell that surely changed a lot of minds (see also: “How to Initiate Meaningful Political Dialogue by Comparing Bush to Hitler”).

The protesters, including this money-denouncing youngster, marched to the Army, Navy and Marine recruitment office at 41 Flatbush Ave. in Brooklyn, where Frank Lynch stayed at least long enough to capture this phalanx of NYPD riot police:

The New York Post (which dedicated a whopping 123 words to protest coverage) pinned the number of marchers at 200. According to this Daily News article, 3 men and 5 women got arrested at the Flatbush Ave. recruiting station.

Thanks to alert reader Andrew C. who found this postcard in his mailbox last week. Some research revealed that the phone number 718-342-7777 does NOT belong to Vanderbilt’s Finest, but to Apra Energy Group, Inc. at 2641 Atlantic Ave.

This advertising campaign is certain create extensive consumer confusion. The postcard, besides making no sense at all, appropriates the distinctive white-on-red motif that our HHO has pioneered.

BEWARE

No moving your car Thursday or Friday. Parking regs are suspended March 24-25 for religious observances. All other rules (including parking meters) remain in effect. Check here for details on the full year schedule.

[Signage: a great NYC photoblogger site called Bridge and Tunnel Club]